Everyone has been trying to attain their glow up this quarantine but it’s not just about finally taking that “woke up like this” IG story. It’s also about cutting off toxic relationships that we are involved with for our own well-being. Sometimes, toxicity does not just happen between friends or lovers but it may happen to all kinds of relationships out there. If you have ever felt confused and manipulated because of a certain person but you’re not so sure of it, it’s time to do a gaslighting vibe check on them.

“Learning to love yourself, it is the greatest love of all.” 

Whitney Houston

Gaslighting, according to healthline.com “[is] the act of manipulating a person by forcing them to question their thoughts, memories, and the events occurring around them. A victim of gaslighting can be pushed so far that they question their own sanity.” To further know if others are gaslighting on you or if you are a gaslighter yourself, hopefully not, here are some signs of gaslighting.

Pretends they didn’t say something

Even though you’re so sure that a gaslighter said something, they tend to deny it. Afterwards, they try to blame you for making up things even if it’s the truth. Eventually, you tend to mistrust your own memories and thoughts.

Confuses you with kind words

One moment they were criticizing you, the next they were praising you. This tactic is to simply let you think that they are still nice people and that they care for you. As a result, whatever they say usually seem like sincere words and are said out of concern even if it’s the other way around.

Uses people against you

As humans, it is very inevitable for us to seek the validation and opinion of others. Gaslighters know this fact very well and they try to manipulate a victim by referring to other people on how lowly they think of you. However, these people did not really say that nor even see you that way.

Simply lies

Gaslighters’s main weapon is lying. All their actions are based on lying and confusion. They usually oppose everything that you say on just about everything, may it be complete facts or even trivial matters. 

Makes you doubt yourself

This is what most gaslighters want to happen to their victims. They want them to feel as if their reality is no longer true. Victims usually tend to invalidate their own thoughts and feelings and in this way, it is easier for gaslighters to manipulate them.

If a certain person or scenario popped on your mind and you think they give off that kind of vibe, know that those feelings are valid. Most of the time, our intuition tells us what’s really happening around us and it is highly critical that we listen to ourselves. Try to always be alert so that they will not catch you off guard to carry out their ploy. You may also ask help and advice from your trusted family and friends. This way, you are no longer alone in the mind games with gaslighters.

Cutting off people in our lives is surely hard but we must do it for our own sake. To be able to give love to others we must be full of love first. As Whitney Houston said in her song, “Learning to love yourself, it is the greatest love of all.” 

Sources:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/here-there-and-everywhere/201701/11-warning-signs-gaslighting
https://www.vox.com/first-person/2018/12/19/18140830/gaslighting-relationships-politics-explained
https://www.healthline.com/health/gaslighting

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Sophia Orlanes
Features editor

Alyssa Mae Alisuag
Graphic artist