By Megan Olladas

Late night chats. Unexpected calls. Lively conversations. Darling, you know these things all too well. You look at these seemingly little nothings through rose-colored glasses. The slightest bit of interaction from one person is enough to bring out your smile. All it takes is a simple text or notification to make your day. Now, don’t get me wrong, these are great and all but do be careful… At this day and age, many people just crave any remote sense of affection or intimacy, no matter how fleeting these things may be.

You will find that it is not so easy to see a person’s true intentions especially when you are wearing those rose-colored glasses of yours. It becomes nearly impossible to see the red flags lined in between the flirting and fun. The warning signs can often go unnoticed until it’s too late, and that is a terrible situation to be in. So to save yourself from heartbreak, here are some of the red flags to watch out for.

1. Inconsistency

Constant personal communication is still necessary even during this time of quarantine. While it is understandable that people may have other commitments and priorities, when one easily changes their demeanor towards you every so often, that is probably not a good sign. It just goes to show that they only feel inclined to reach out to you when it is beneficial and convenient for them. The consistency of one’s actions can convey how serious a person actually is in the relationship. If the person is truly invested in you, spending time with one another should never feel like a burden.

2. Lack of interest

If the person you are talking to shows zero interest in trying to get to know you, that is already a red flag. Deep talks and personal chit-chat just does not work for them, and they may not even be interested at all in what you are talking about. There are times wherein it takes them a long time to respond and when they do, it is usually void of genuine enthusiasm. Aside from that, the topics being talked about are not that meaningful and are often done so just out of boredom and loneliness.

3. One-sidedness

Anything one-sided is never a good thing. You may often find that you are the only one who initiates or tries to keep the conversation going. You will also notice that most of the time, your communication with them fades ever so gradually until eventually conversations and chats will just simply come to a standstill. Keep in mind that there is a difference between a shy person and a person who simply does not reciprocate the same energy towards you.

4. No serious plans

They do not show any plans to meet you in person once it is safely possible to do so. There is no motivation to discuss any plans with you in the future because it feels like a burdened responsibility. At times, they may even try to avoid talking about it by changing the subject. For them, your interactions are just for fun and they are not considering anything more aside from the kind of interaction you have at the moment.

Do you see yourself in any of these situations? While there is nothing wrong with having a short-term relationship, ask yourself: would you settle for the convenience of being a fling? Perhaps some may prefer this fleeting connection. It does sound simpler, the no-strings-attached relationship without commitments nor responsibilities, doesn’t it? However, it is still important to establish exactly what relationship you have with a person or if there even is one, make sure both of you are on the same page.

The start of something new can always feel ever so exciting but always tread carefully. Humans’ need for intimacy can be fleeting. When it comes down to it all, know what you want and deserve. Sometimes the best thing to do is to walk away from something that may lead to more harm than good. Full of empty words without promise, do you truly wish to stay in the midst of uncertainty with very little guarantee? If a simple fling is all you are looking for then go for it… but if not, it may be time to set those rose-colored glasses aside.  

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Sources:
https://www.wheninmanila.com/how-do-you-know-if-youre-just-a-quaranfling/
https://lifestyle.inquirer.net/375793/quaran-flings-and-other-issues-of-quarantine-romances/
https://www.rappler.com/life-and-style/relationships/dating-during-coronavirus-philippines