By Rae Goco & Therese Bernal

Several days pass until the crisp air gets a little bit warmer. What once were strips of bright Christmas lights and tinsel are soon replaced with ribbons of pinks and reds, teddy bears and roses line storefront windows, and the glaring shape of a two-dimensional heart begins to take up every visible space. As the January festivity begins to phase out, the lingering buzz of excitement (and envy, for some) soon takes its place.

Valentine season is finally here.

The month of February, among other things, is characterized by many through one singular date: February 14. Ironically, however, it also becomes a tradition divided into those who have a date and those who do not. As couples prepare either lavish or simple surprises for their partners or others nervously reveal their feelings to those they admire—people who may not fit into this lovey-dovey spectrum might feel rather left out.

See, as February is hailed as the month of love, with many encouraged to show their adoration to the people they hold dear with gaudy acts such as giving flowers or chocolates, or dedicating a special message through letters or poems—one is left to wonder: Is Valentine’s still truly a genuine celebration of love? What even is love?

What is love? It is the central conundrum that singers croon about, movies and novels claim to answer, and experts continue to be exasperated by. Of course, while there is a set scientific and logical definition of what love is, its real meaning and influence remains to be something left wholly subjective. Simply put, “true love” is said to manifest differently for each person in unique ways.

In the realm of popular media, however, the definition of “true love” veers to the same timeless formula: romantic, heterosexual, between two attractive leads—but most importantly, a conscious “Yes!” to the person you are destined to be with.

This is the very same idea long ingrained in our minds since childhood. Reinforced by the love stories of Disney princesses like Ariel of the Little Mermaid or Aurora of the Sleeping Beauty, or the telenovelas we see grown-ups watch in passing—the idea of true love has always seemingly been defined in the same constricting way. As most song lyrics always say: sparks should fly, butterflies must frantically swirl in your stomach, and your world must be turned absolutely upside down once you find the One.

Unfortunately, however, this notion doesn’t always provide good implications. What becomes popularized in the media can have large influences on what becomes normalized in the greater society. Growing up with the same premium placed on romantic love, many of us journey into our adolescent years with the emotional burden of finding the conventional someone you can be attracted to, if only to answer the relentless questions of “Do you have a crush?” from those around us.

The true reality is, there’s a great divider that separates the reality from those depicted in the stories that we consume. There will inevitably be those who will find love outside of the norm—whether platonic or romantic, whether obligation or a choice.

Having said this, then, why does the media continue to push the same fruitless narrative?

Well, the belief that love can be a conscious choice is something that can be examined in the current state of our entertainment industry.

In particular, it can be seen in the mass audience interest in Filipino love teams. The love team is a marketing technique that is almost unique to the country’s entertainment industry. It is where young starlets (predominantly cis men and women) are paired together by their networks to capitalize on their compatibility within different media such as movies, TV shows, advertisements, etc.

Love teams have existed since the early eras of Philippine cinema and it has since continuously permeated itself into the class consciousness by adapting to the modern standards of relevance: having a cult following on social media. Previously, the process went like this: the love teams are manufactured, they are exposed in every nook and corner of the mass media sphere, and then they are publicly consumed and profited from until the people lose interest. Until they have overcompensated the network’s investment, they are conditioned to do almost everything to keep the audience’s attention; from singing, dancing, hosting, and acting, the love team talent must be able to exacerbate themselves as a long-term profit. When they are no longer a relevant or interesting pair, the network will either drop the talents or pair them once more with another new talent.

In many instances nowadays, the love teams end up being genuinely committed to each other and the added genuinity in their love often anticipates a rise in their popularity. Here, the idea of love as a choice prevails, it is an almost solid proof that love can be manufactured into genuinity. However, we also overlook that as love is a choice, it also extends the idea that we have liberty to choose not to love another person. Recently, love teams are being more vocal about just not being compatible with each other (in terms of career directions) anymore rather than falling into desolate irrelevancy with their audience.

One of these love teams is AlDub, a name that stood for Alden Richard and Maine “Yaya Dub” Mendoza’s pairing. The former love team’s online presence was groundbreaking, even being awarded a Guinness World Record for having the most retweeted hashtag in 24 hours in 2015. Around 2019, Maine was spotted and confirmed to be dating another figure, Arjo Atayde, sparking a lot of controversy in its time from its distraught and angry fans. In the age of social media, we can expect a few “haters” or “bashers” of dissolved love team talents with their new partners. However, three years later, the group of “haters” or “bashers” of previous AlDub fanatics in Maine’s new relationship seemed to have only evolved themselves in the worst way. With the belief and popular speculation among fans that Alden and Maine are married and have a secret child, even given the name baby Theo. Holding on to this belief, they hold large gatherings among themselves, some of these clips having recently gone viral as a reaction meme. In the video, they would say chants such as “Mabuhay ang Aldub Nation” and sing hymns with candles being lit up across the room. One of the former love team’s talents, Maine, confronted many of the believers of this speculation but was told off by them that she was just an admin and she really had a child and husband.

Truth be told, a talent inside a love team is but a victim to mass surveillance forced to function as an extension of a person they may not be (initially) romantically interested in. The audience watches their every move, nitpicking their most insignificant gestures as motives to feed their fanaticism. They are stripped of their personhood and viewed as a commodity of entertainment, if anything more, an extension of another. Even outside the borders of parasocialism many of these believers fall into, the public generally remains uncritical of these happenings as it is treated as a “meme” or another product of entertainment by the former love team. The general public is humored by this hoax, it is funny to us as much as it is violating and damaging to the relationship between Maine and her current partner.

This is only further proof of how dehumanizing this conscious choice of love can be under capitalist society and conditions, and we have been so standardized to this constant churning of love teams that we hold no vigilance to this exploitation of intimacy. And as love teams become younger, this tolerance for experiences such as this only impedes the blur of privacy within the self and as a product of consumption to be surveilled and parasocially depended on by the masses.

As we’ve proven, love is truly multifaceted. It manifests in different and unique ways, and can mean differently for each person. However, the dangers of believing in a conscious choice of love doesn’t take away from the fact that it’s still a form of love nor that love can nonetheless grow within it It is just a wake-up call in being more critical about it in consumption because it can border questionable things, such as a sense of tolerance for mass surveillance and parasocialism brought upon the inherent social-political context of Philippine media and entertainment industry. However, it also calls us to become open to the more plural forms of love the media overlooks (polyamory for instance) especially in the heteronormative order that love teams maintain in the entertainment industry. So remember: it’s okay to enjoy love as it’s perceived now in the media, but that shouldn’t stop us from being open or accepting to the other ways love can be explored and felt!

True love, regardless of its many contested definitions, is still a phenomenon that you should enjoy by your own terms—no matter what others seem to believe.