By Alex Lauricio

Today we greet with open arms the International Self-Care Day, which while as students we often mention as a cornerstone of surviving high school, is often an area of life that we find ourselves strongly lacking in. We have experienced it one way or the other—sleepless nights, going home late, and cramming projects, to name a few. We hold the banner of self-care high yet fall short on actually upholding self-care practices.

It’s very easy to fall into the trap of romanticizing unhealthy school habits—winging school projects on the fly during sleepless nights, often before exams; or making mema on an important and relevant academic task. While a lot of us measure hard work by how much our body crumples before collapsing in the bed, this unhealthy perception of hard work leads to the mental, physical, and emotional deterioration of our health.

Self-care is not just about the things we do—like eating ice cream or reading books—but also has something to do with the way we do things. Granted we can come up with an exemplary output in about eight hours, that still doesn’t mean we have to unhealthily invest an entire day just to finish it in one sitting. Sometimes, self-care is realizing that the longer way to do things, even if it’ll set us back a day or two, is something worth considering and choosing. 

These unhealthy habits include attempting to do several days’ worth of a school project and cramming it in a single day and sacrificing health, sleep, and quality in the process; excessively intoxicating yourself on coffee daily and depending on caffeine to give you an energy boost throughout the day; as well as sleeping incredibly late at night and waking up very groggy and unable to process much information come school hours. 

Your body is something worth caring and fighting for. If you don’t listen to its aches and pains begging you to take a break, then you might need to take a step back and reconsider whether you’re actually healthy or not. 

Five minutes of rest goes a long way—and so does the unhealthy habit of missing meals in favor of not missing deadlines. 

Yes, school demands sacrifice, but this image of chasing after high grades and burnout isn’t the only way to excel in academics or athletics. 

The deterioration due to lack of self-care and self-maintenance can happen in a slow-burn fashion, or one where it all crashes on to you instantly. Maybe you can notice your habits change over time—that coffee mug on your desk wasn’t always there, or at one instant, you end up collapsing on your bed because of the weight and burden you’ve been carrying.

And yet, despite these deteriorating conditions, we still manage to become yes-persons and take what little time we have for ourselves and give it away to others. We all want to help and take care of people in positions where they can’t take care of us, but we have to pour those resources to us first.

So, the question stands, how can you help someone if you can’t even take care of yourself?   

Cura Personalis

When you hear the exhausted sighs of that one friend who spent countless nights on a school project, you can’t help but lend a helping hand on some part of their work. Other times, when someone might ask or request for your assistance, you still manage to say “yes” and add yet another task in your already lengthy to-do list, even if your hands are tied.

We get it. Lending people a helping hand is always a fulfilling experience, and maybe it’s enough to distract ourselves from our very own troubles and experiences. We all have that one friend that loves to play matchmaker, and dispenses relevant advice for life—but can’t seem to apply it to their own situation. Maybe we find joy in seeing smiles on the faces of others, especially if it’s caused by us, but sometimes we have to make ourselves smile too. 

Sometimes, it’s not that we can’t help ourselves—it’s that we give so much of ourselves to others that we leave little for us to work with as a consequence. Be it time, effort, or resources like money, we deem it valid to chip a part of ourselves for the betterment of others. They will likely appreciate your gesture, but there are better ways to help others than just being martyrs.

A relevant example of this can be found in one of Saint Ignatius’ realizations. He realized that fasting for weeks at a time and praying non-stop was not the way to offer himself to God, in contrast to what he initially thought. Through his journey, he developed the examen, a detailed routine of daily self-reflection. In which case, he forged the practice of cura personalis, which extends to not just the people who are being helped, but also to the person helping. 

When a boat sinks, you can’t save everyone—only those whom you can allot in your own personal life raft, which oftentimes, is already so small. 

That raft is you—and how many people you save is how thin you can spread your time, effort, and resources. It gets doubly precarious when there are holes in the raft, forcing you to adapt or face collapse. If you can’t patch up your lifeline, then maybe you shouldn’t go and try to help others board your already sinking vessel. 

To help others means you have to help yourself first. There’s a reason why lifeguards, firefighters and policemen all have to secure their life first and foremost—who will secure the safety of others if you can’t even secure yours? It is not only irresponsible to prioritize others over yourself, but it also poses great danger and harm to your physical, mental, and emotional health.

We’re not saying that you shouldn’t care about the lives of others—we’re saying that you should care about yourself first. Who cares? You do. Well, you should.

Who Cares?

You should. At the end of the day, when the dust settles and the embers die down, the only thing left standing is you. 

Picture yourself as a lone branch in a grassy plateau; whether you’ll bend or break is not a question to the severity of the storms that come to your way—it is a question of whether you will choose to adapt and take the precautions, habits, and practices necessary to sustain your version of healthy living. Out of all the people who should be concerned with self-care, it should be yourself.

This does not come off as a humble request to self-realize, but rather as a precautionary tale for those who do not heed warnings and refuse to see signs of their health withering away due to them simply not caring enough. It is never too late to change your mind and finally put in some time, energy, and resources to take care of yourself.

The first few steps might be hard—reassessing your life situation may require a lot of introspection and some deep digging, but these are ultimately necessary steps in order to find avenues and ways on how to help yourself. Catch up with friends and treat yourself to a meal; you deserve it for reaching this far, after all. Show yourself some love.

The sooner you realize the need to take care of yourself, the sooner that your body recuperates and goes back to normal. But this can’t happen overnight, and it can’t happen unless you’re finally willing to chip in the resources to actually help yourself out. Maybe your hands are tied—if so, make sure to go the necessary steps to untie them.

When the time finally comes, hit back on those school assessments, and learn to establish an academic foothold while still managing to carve a smile despite all the stress in the world. Eat some ice cream, read a book—dream about the future where you face the day armed with a schedule and a goal, eager to play life’s balancing act of school, self-care, and you.

Who cares? Hopefully you do.