By PJ Tiambeng

Senior year is often painted like a dream. A stepping stone in our life, and the last one of our basic education — the end of high school. We lose sight of the fact that the regular challenges of school remain, if not doubled in difficulty or amount. 

Many seniors in the Ateneo Senior High School are caught off guard by this, quickly falling down a rabbit hole of burnout and exhaustion, popularly known as “Senioritis” — a disease-like word to describe the experience that seems to be one that all Grade 12 students inevitably go through.  

In a focus group discussion (FGD) with several grade 12 students, all of them said that “Senioritis” was definitely real to them. 

What is Senioritis?

In an interview, Ms. Castillo, an ASHS guidance counselor, described it in four frameworks.  First, it could mean being emotionally drained after being burnt out protractedly over three semesters. A grade 12 student could be overwhelmed and actually need help to manage those emotions. Second, it could mean avoiding hard feelings, such as fear about the future. For some people, avoiding hard feelings is a way for them to feel safe, but it’s not always a good thing. Third, it could mean when what the student wants and aspires for is one that they’re also afraid of. When they’re conflicted between wanting it and fearing it, what happens is that it translates to actions that are contradictory to what they want. They choose not to work so hard instead so that they won’t fail themselves. Lastly, it could mean a state of a grade 12 student who has so many opportunities right in front of them, but they see that as a slump instead of an opportunity, as more work to do on top of the work that they already have.

It could be another word for burnout. It could be caused by exhaustion physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. “You are hitting the ground running from the start of the first semester of Grade 11,” Ms. Castillo said.  With three succeeding semesters of hard work, a senior never really experiences a legitimate summer break during senior high school because they’re working on College Entrance Tests (CETs) or with their organization. Some forget to take care of themselves with proper sleep and eating schedules. 

It could also be caused by them avoiding the emotional anchors to tasks that are uncomfortable to them because of unpleasant experiences around tasks, which can be triggering. Instead of them risking themselves to be triggered, they’d rather avoid the task. On the surface, it looks like laziness. But the truth is, there are so many emotional entanglements around these, that this grade 12 student might be dealing with or does not know how to properly deal with. 

Lastly, Senioritis could come from frustration: A feeling of how present actions aren’t reaching the deliverables that one wants, despite them giving their best efforts. They give up. “But maybe what it takes is for that person to find again or align themselves with their targets. More than just their targets, the personal special meaning they have for these targets.” 

A major shift

Though there were longer schedules and more academic deliverables in Grade 11, somehow, Grade 12 seems to be more tiring and stressful. Why is that? 

Many lost their motivation to do well and their excitement to go to school. Now in Grade 12, suddenly each day feels longer, despite having more half-days in the week.  “(It’s like) people lost their… interest, the same flame they had when they were just in Grade 11. Now in Grade 12, (it’s like) the flame is disappearing,” Kent Co, a STEM senior from 12-Pantalia, said. 

“We suddenly became these complacent and lazy seniors,” Pola Bautista, a GA senior from 12-Denn, said. 

Kyle Santiago, an ABM senior from 12-Arnaiz, said that he never really expected to get “hit” by “Senioritis”, even though his seniors would always tell him about it. “Right now, I can for sure say (that) they weren’t lying. Senioritis is very much real. I’ve been feeling it since the start of Grade 12.”

“Grade 12 is a turning point in our lives. It’s not just a year level.” Ysa Galvez, a HUMSS senior from 12-Geronimo, said in a mix of Filipino and English. “I feel like there is so much more responsibility (as) a Grade 12 student… It is draining, especially when you have a lot of things to be present for.” Truly, there are many things that take place in these 10 months. 

Facing the Future

One of the responsibilities to be present for during this time is our preparations for the future, more specifically college. Added to the regular pressure to fulfill academic standards and achieve honors, we also have to ensure that our grades in our first semester look promising on our college applications, and maybe even our second semester grades if we plan to appeal. Along with this are filling out forms, attending review classes during the break before the school year, and then taking the college entrance tests during the school year. This is also a time to start to question life beyond, to think about what they see themselves doing in the next 10 years. 

As Galvez said, “You’re at a point, like a fork in your life, where you get to decide your path. And of course, there’s so much responsibility involved in that decision.”

Serving, to be an Example

Grade 12 students are also the ones managing involvements through monitoring, assessing, and leading the members and activities of different councils, committees, and organizations. “You have to set a standard,” Galvez said. 

Many Grade 12 students step up to these leadership roles, hoping to pursue their passions with like-minded people. With that though, comes the struggle of making sure that these people are cared for, that their organizations are successful. During the summer of college test reviewing, most Grade 12 students were preparing for the upcoming school year, either for SHOrSem or their involvement’s plans for the semester.  

Into the Thick of Academics

However, with all the other things going on in one’s life and the other responsibilities to be taken care of, academics are bound to be affected. You still have to be present for your academic subjects, as these are your main priorities as a student. Legata expressed how there’s always going to be one subject that is heavy with its deliverables, lessons, or assessments. For some, the build up of academic responsibilities is the start of their burnout spiral. Maxine Sinel, a HUMSS senior from 12-Gonzalez, described it as “one thing after the other, like neverending hurdles that I have to overcome.”

Now in the second semester, many feel less pressured to deliver good results in their academics. As Sinel said, “When I’m stressed, I think to myself, is it really worth it?” Sinel also chose to take up only one involvement as she wanted to prioritize her academics. Sometimes, that is an important fact to consider: one cannot be everywhere all at once. 

Bautista reflected on how she was once a strict groupmate, doing her work in advance, but how she finishes her work now only hours before the deadline. Santiago said that he had a hard time staying in touch with his many group works and making sure to check other’s parts rather than just doing his own.

The participants expressed how they fought with exhaustion in their struggle to even get up and attend class each day. This caused some of them to be late to class repeatedly. 

Not only is it difficult to show up, but it also takes strength to be present mentally during class periods. One of the participants in the FGD discussed her battle with mental health problems and the guilt of not going to school despite it being near to her as a dormer. “I felt as if the things that I have to do are a burden to me… I used to have so much love and passion for studying in Ateneo because this was… no, this is my dream school,” she expressed. 

Though Ateneo is a school that seniors prayed to get into, there’s no denying that it has brought them their fair share of hardship. They lose sight of a dream, blocked out by the feeling of being drained inside, losing sight of themselves and their passion for learning. Past the credentials that school gives you for college and career, it all boils down to a place for actually learning. But when all these tasks seem to pile up, they become walls that eat at one’s will to push through, one’s self-assuredness of their competency. 

“In Grade 12, you think ‘am I doing well enough despite yourself doing as much as (I) can?’ it reflects (in your) grade when it seems low, and you start doubting yourself,” Legata said. 

An Emotional Experience

Burnout was described as a “paralyzing feeling,” in the way that you can become so overwhelmed with tasks that you eventually feel like not doing anything at all. 

Sometimes, everything comes all at once. For Santiago, their committee’s large project coincided with ABM selling week. He described not sleeping at all, being stressed about all his tasks, and not thinking as clearly as he wanted. It was something to “get over with,” showing how Senioritis strips away the enjoyment from the things he used to like doing, like he was simply going with the motions. He even had to set aside a meeting with his other involvement, the Department of Data Analytics (DDA), despite the fact that he enjoys doing work there. “Burnout makes you do things that you don’t want to do, without your control, and sometimes you have to accept it,” he said. 

Some resorted to taking a Leave of Absence. One participant said that she filed it to focus on herself and to focus on healing. “When you’re burnt out, there’s really no other way but to rest because what more can you give when your cup is empty?” It is not selfish to do that, rather, it actually takes strength to care for yourself. It helped her to consult with her guidance counselor and moderator as well, showing how it is also important to listen to your mentors. 

A Senior’s Advice

Take a step back, and take a deep breath. 

“Really, the best solution is (also) the most common (one). (It) is just taking a break once in a while. Everyone underestimates taking a break… You need your mind to rest… (to) reset for learning…” Sancho Legata, a STEM senior from 12-Navarro, said. Complementarily, Bautista says to do things that you enjoy and that are outside of school.

However, things aren’t always easy, and one doesn’t always have the time to rest. “You really have to do it tired and overwhelmed,” Galvez said. And sometimes, that’s the harsh reality. Life keeps going, and the world keeps spinning. But that doesn’t mean that we have to go it alone. Bautista noted that if you still have to work, do things at your pace and don’t pressure yourself to keep up with the people around you. 

Santiago says to go back to your “Whys,” to persevere with that foundation. Remember why you love what you do, why it is worth your effort. “Part of it is realizing (that) ‘Oh, I’m already here so I should be able to do it because, if not me, then who else? And… it’s my last year (in the) ASHS so might as well give (it) my all,’” he said. “I signed up for these commitments and I should be able to do them not just because they’re responsibilities but I’m doing these labors out of my love for service.” 

He also said to not underestimate the “Senioritis” phenomenon, and to actually embrace it for what it is. Take time to appreciate your last year of high school. “Sometimes part of doing good is being good to yourself.”

Sinel says to “Learn to choose your own battles… What is your end goal? Set boundaries on what you want to prioritize.”

Co said to “Be aware of your body and your emotions, remind yourself that taking breaks are okay and not a sign of weakness.”

Legata said “It’s important to realize (that) maybe it’s okay (that) we’re not able to do our best all the time. It’s not as if we’re perfect (that) we have to get everything that we want, (that) we have to get perfect grades. I feel like it’s just us facing reality (that) maybe life won’t be as easy as we expect.” He also said “You’re really gonna be facing reality… you need to be resilient… you have to get back on your own two feet because the world won’t always go your way.”

Guidance from a Counselor: Start Small

Set a goal, and commit to it. Despite how you feel at the moment, be clear with what you really want. Based on this, always be guided with and anchored in what’s important to you. How do your actions align with it?

Acknowledge that you feel discomfort. “Acceptance and agreement are two distinctly different things. You can totally accept that you’re feeling this way without letting that feeling take hold or take control,” Ms. Castillo said. “You create a huge hallway or auditorium in your heart where all vibes are welcome, darker or brighter hues of feelings. Everybody gets a chair but nobody gets to dominate the conversation.”

The moment you find yourself unsettled, feeling things of darker hues… At the early sign, sit with your feelings already and see what support you need at the moment. Be aware of changes in your moods. Don’t simply set it aside and wait until it goes completely black. Hold space for your emotions, and be surrounded by people who can hold space for you

Navigate difficult emotions by finding healthy ways to express, instead of sweeping feelings under the rug. Find healthy, expressive ways. Create a safe space for these feelings. Get creative by putting it down and writing, talking to somebody. 

Even if you’re feeling emotions that are at a bad time, you have the power to make healthy choices. Think, “How will I show up for myself?” and “How will I continue to take care of myself?” There is a power in small choices, steps, and starts. Think also: “How would I reward myself once I’ve started doing this small thing?” There’s a power in rewarding starts, too. Remember that small breaks are important.

Being a student is no easy task, and as we grow into new grades and move onto new phases, new challenges arise as well. Though everyone experiences “Senioritis,” it is not the end of the world. Our seniors, and our seniors’ seniors, have faced it as well. It is within our power to make the most of the time that we have left in the ASHS. Let us face it with both gratitude and determination.